"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
