Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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