Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
