Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
