so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
