the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize