I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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