I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize