Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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