i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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