The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
In America we eat man semen.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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