worst night to have a conscience
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
