it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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