I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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