You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize