the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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