he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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