i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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