another moral hangover. fuck.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
