I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
