Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am available for nakedness
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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