OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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