Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
