So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
