Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
