I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
