Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
