She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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