Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
