I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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