as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
