I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
