I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
