just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
