sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
