Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize