For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
