if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
