idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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