so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
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I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
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It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
And then he peed in my hair
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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