Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
