I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
