Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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