What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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