i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
