He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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