Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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