So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
