for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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