Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
