The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize