Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
