yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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