Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We're too hungover to prance.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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