Don't make out with my wife yet
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
