But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
