Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
