Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
