Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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