New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
