you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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