In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
vagina is talking i cant
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
