Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
