I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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