Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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