The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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