In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
