Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
