yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
