I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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